I get asked that question often and I usually smile when I think about it. It sure was not a straight line or an instant knowledge of what I was going to do, only that it was where I was needed.
I was called by God. It sounds simple enough. God asked ME. So, how hard could it be, right? He told me he had a job for me to do at home. He asked me to quit my job and follow him. This is where I start to smile as I think back to that time. I had no idea what he had in store for me, only that I was needed. I will start from the beginning to make this more understandable. Just a word of warning, this is not a short story.
The Dream
I was a long-haul driver with my husband when I first got the feeling (call) that I needed to quit my job, go home and work for God. At first, I resisted because I did not feel worthy to represent him. I told God that I could not leave my job for financial reasons. However, he provided me a way to solve that problem. Thus, I planned on quitting my job in November of 2015, but ending up leaving in March, since all things are in his time, not ours. I stepped off a cliff without knowing what was going to happen or where I would land. I trusted God ‘s promise that he will provide for our needs.
It is not easy stepping off a cliff, not seeing the next step or knowing what is going to happen. I thought I had the faith it would take and knew God would take care of things as he saw fit. Unfortunately, I was in store for an awakening. Losing half our household income earlier than I’d planned caused me to second guess God’s plan. “What am I doing?” “How could I be someone that the Lord has called to serve him?” Satan started working on me before I even started. After all, if I do nothing then I cannot hurt satin or his cause.
All I knew was God had something for me to do at home. He showed me a dream about feeding his people. Is that all? I’ve got this no problem. I could grow a garden. After all I wanted to grow one for my household. So, what was the big deal in adding a few more rows to share with those in need? (Does it sound like I needed God or was listening? Nope! I was doing things my way.) When it came time to give away the fruits of my labor, no one wanted what I had to offer. Only 1 or 2 folks took any of the vegetables offered. I was hurt because, after all, I was told by God to “Feed his People” and no one wanted any of the produce I had grown. In hindsight, he was getting me prepared physically for my service to him. By the end of that season, I was in better shape physically. During this time, most of my Bible studies had to do with faith. Thus, I decided to continue the garden and triple its size. I trusted God to send the folks who needed the food.
The Teaching
That winter I took a class and met a lady who asked me to help her teach a women’s bible study. I told her I did not think I was a good choice. I did not know enough about the Bible, nor could I remember verses verbatim. She insisted that I help facilitate the studies. She explained that we would prepare ahead of time and go over what was needed. I would not be teaching, just helping. As I was praying about it, the pastor spoke on how God called him to “Feed his people the word” and a bulb went off. Maybe this is what God wanted me to do. I agreed to help. After the leader left, I decided to continue the studies. During this time, I worked harder to understand his word. He was working on me, molding me, teaching me.
While facilitating this women’s bible study, I would make a small lunch for the ladies. It was during this phase of my training that he taught me how to pray aloud and not be afraid to speak up on his behalf. I was learning to listen more, assume less. I was approached by someone in the church about taking over a ministry that had been vacated when a family moved out of state. It was a feeding ministry for those who were sick, had a death in the family or could use a little help by preparing them meals. This time, I prayed about it and asked God what he wanted me to do. He answered and I took over the meal ministry. Almost from the beginning, God laid it on my heart to have a small pantry. This would allow those who wanted to help, but could not due to budget restrictions, have access to ingredients and food to help fix the meals. It was small - just a tote and a small freezer for some meats and breads. That was my first experience with a pantry.
The Plans
As this went on, I got to know some wonderful folks. One morning around 6 a.m. one of them called me and said, “We are starting a food pantry”. I told her that I did not have time because I already had 2 ministries - the ladies bible study and the meal ministry. Also, I knew nothing about food pantries and, thus, was not qualified. After a while, I agreed to help start the pantry, but insisted I would not run it. Every time I think back on saying this, I visualize Jesus smiling and shaking his head while knowing what he had in store for me.
We had a meeting with one of our pastors. A location was found for the pantry, but it would be up to us to get the funding to run it. We walked into a building that had not been used in almost 12 yrs. The electric was not functioning, many of the wires were hanging and dangling. It was a mess, with mold and mildew everywhere. The ceilings, walls, and floors had to be stripped, bleached, and/ or scrapped. We put out the call for help and several folks from our church came to help us. We started this ministry in February of 2016 and opened our doors on January 30th of 2017.
During this phase of training, I learned again about God’s glory and his timing. Lots of folks helped on a regular basis during this phase. Several of them became an important part of planning and setting up the ministry. From building walls, clothing racks, offices, and shelving to painting, cleaning, and stocking, God always sent the perfect person for the job. After almost a year of planning and hard work, we were ready to open the pantry. Shortly after we opened, the woman in charge whom I told “I will help out, but not run the pantry” started having health issues and had to leave.
The Lessons
Since I didn’t know anything about running a nonprofit organization, I once again had to trust God to guide me. He has allowed me to learn, and I am still learning. He sends folks to help with different aspects of the ministry. Some volunteer for long periods of time and others for short intervals. He continues to send folks with specialized skills needed at that time. There are many things that I and others involved with this ministry have discovered that have been hard lessons to learn.
1. God enables those he calls, not always the ones who are able. Hebrews 13:21, 2 Timothy 3:17, 2 Corinthians 12:9
2. He will see you through, even when it looks like a rock wall. He makes a way and gets you there. Psalm 46:1-3, Proverbs 18:10
3. He is always on time. Not always your time, but keep looking because he will be there just at the right time. Ecclesiastes 3:1-22
4. His ways are not always our ways, but they are the right way. Isaiah 55:8-9, Proverbs 14:12
5. He loves us even when we make mistakes. Lamentations 3:22-25
Those are just a few of the things I have learned, but the main lesson is to trust him. Proverbs 3:5, Psalm 9:10, Romans 8:28, Psalm 112:7.
It has not always been easy, but it is glorious watching God work. To see him move someone who proclaims they do not believe to someone who walks in the door and says let me tell you what God did for us this month. To see him send a resource just when it will be needed the most or provide the answer before it is needed. I could go on but instead I will tell you, if you want to see God moving find a place where he wants you to serve him. If you say “I want to serve you Lord”, then you never listen, and (most important) do not get up and go do what it is He wants you to do, you are missing so many blessings and opportunities to witness his work and miracles.
Is it scary? Yes. Is it easy? No. Is it by pure faith we do some things? Yes. Is it worth it? Yes. To me nothing is more important than serving God and letting others know that he is alive and still helping. He loves us no matter what we think, or Satan tries to tell us. He is a loving Savior, Father, Friend and Teacher, and knowing this makes it all worthwhile. He allows me to serve him by serving others. I cannot think of anything more humbling then to know he chose me to run this non-profit for his glory. I know I am in the right place because I feel at home, as if this was part of my whole being. I thank him for allowing me to serve him where he wants me to be. Find your “home and the missing part”. You will not be sorry you did.
May God bless each of you with your serving place for him.